The Love of Many Shall Wax Cold
By Evangelist Paul Mershon
August 8, 2004
"And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold." (Matthew 24:12)
"Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality." (Romans 12:9-13)
"But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer. And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover a multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging." (I Peter 4:7-9)
"Let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." (Hebrews 13:1-2)
Over the years, especially during our spring and early summer round of meetings this year, my wife and I have had the joy of being in several churches that are amongst the warmest and most gracious we have ever seen. One inner-city church we were with back east was a particular standout as there was a spirit of loving-kindness that epitomizes what I believe the Bible says God's people ought to be. It was a pleasure for me to stand back and watch these dear people interact with one another. I heard many say to one another, "I love you!" My, how refreshing! The pastor and his wife were often heard to say, "I love you" to many of the church members. I have rarely seen such open expressions of love and appreciation for one another as was demonstrated here. There did not appear to be any cliques, inner circles, or any "power groups," just the sheep of God's pasture enjoying the mutual love for one another that ought to mark any local New Testament church. The pastor and his wife were so kind and loving towards all, and visitors were made to feel welcome as they were greeted by all warmly. It is hard to leave a place like this when the services are over. And I did not detect that this was mere socializing. What I saw was spiritual in nature, and centered around the love of Christ. This felt like a safe place. And their love for one another was without "dissimulation." "Let love be without dissimulation . . . . Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another" (Romans 12:9a-10). The Greek word from which we get the English word "dissimulation" is anupokritos. The definition of this word is that love is to be sincere, unfeigned, without hypocrisy, and not pretended. In too many places the love of the brethren is conditional and must be earned. This is not the love of which the Word of God speaks. Indeed, it was such a joy to be a visitor in this place, and we felt more than loved and welcome, not special, just loved and welcome as brethren of like precious faith. Thank God for local churches like this.
In contrast, we have been in churches where the exact opposite spirit is demonstrated. Orthodox and doctrinally correct, some churches have a coldness about them that is very sad. One feels shut out and unaccepted in churches like these, and one must wonder if the Spirit of God is at work in such a place at all. I have seen too many churches where the members virtually ignore visitors. I have been in some churches where the visitors are not acknowledged from the pulpit, and get a cold handshake from the pastor as they go out the back door at the end of the service. Each local church has the prerogative as to whether they want to have a handshake time or not at some point in the service, but I have found that when a church does that at the appropriate time, and it is a well-controlled evolution, this tends to make everyone feel welcome and appreciated. In my ordaining church, we would ask the visitors to remain seated so they could be easily identified and accessed, and then the church members would go to them and greet them as they shook hands with one another. This went a long way to make folks feel like they were cared for and that their attendance with us that day was appreciated. It is nothing more than showing ourselves friendly. "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly . . . ." (Proverbs 18:24a). Whether a church does things this way or not is not as important as making sure there is something done to acknowledge visitors and show loving-concern for them with an unfeigned love. It should never be just part of the program - a sterile exercise that is meaningless.
I watched one handshake time in a church where an entire visiting family was virtually ignored. The church members got off into their own little preferred groups and greeted one another, but ignored the rest of the church family, and especially the visitors. My brethren, these things ought not so to be! The ministry is people, and not just the people we like to be with and prefer to care for. It is all people, the lovely and unlovely alike. "Let nothing be done through strife and vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others" (Philippians 2:3-4).
It is sometimes true that first impressions do make a difference. As unjust and wrong-headed as this can sometimes be, it is a reality that folks will often judge us by how we initially present ourselves. We have all heard stories of how folks visited a church for the first time and found a cold or unfriendly welcome. Yes, some folks are overly sensitive and overly-critical, but there is a measure of validity in their observation if given a reason to come away from a church that has been guilty of a less than warm and friendly spirit towards its visitors. No matter how this is looked upon, when a church or its people do not exercise biblical hospitality, it is a true and direct reflection of the character and spirit of that church. As already stated, I have visited and preached in more than one church that is as cold towards newcomers as "The Church of the Deepfreeze" pastored by "Dr. Jack Frost." I have seen folks made to feel like outsiders or interlopers when they came to visit. In other cases I have seen church folks formally welcome visitors as a matter of course, and then go about their business expressing little or no personal interest in those visitors. There is nothing as awkward for visiting folks as to be made to feel unwelcome or uncared for. And "church greeters," though not at all a bad idea, are not enough. Duty-bound greetings can be plastic and programmed no matter how well-intentioned. I personally think it is a good idea to have someone at the door to greet visitors and church members alike, but that does not relieve the entire church body from being "greeters" as well. People coming in out of a cold world need to be received in a warm and loving way.
I like what one local church does. The visitors are acknowledged in the services and warmly greeted and then some of the church members visit their homes later on in the afternoon, taking them some nice home-baked goods as a token of appreciation for their visit. This goes a long way to demonstrate loving-concern, and develops a hospitable spirit amongst the church family itself.
Certainly not all of our Bible-believing Baptist churches are neglectful of visitors, nor unkind and without a warm and loving spirit towards them, but there is a real need for us to take a look at ourselves in this particular area of church life. The way we treat people tells an awful lot about who and what we are. The way we treat one another tells an awful lot about who and what we are.
There is a growing coldness creeping into our churches in these last days that is disconcerting. Evangelical, new evangelical and charismatic churches have noted this, and have instituted a lot of what I call "love-bombing" techniques that are often shallow and superficial. We must avoid this kind of phoniness and follow a biblical pattern of genuine love, compassion and concern for others the result of the filling of, and walking in the Spirit.
We have all been in places where we have felt or perceived that we were unwanted and unwelcome. Though this may not have been the result of a spoken word, or implied through some other means, nonetheless we have come away from that experience not wanting to go back into it again. It has left us with an uneasy and cold feeling. I have been in places, one recently, where I felt the sting of what appeared to be unacceptance and rejection, and it brought me to tears. I know that our feelings can betray us, and we cannot be ruled by our feelings, but we do have them, and when something is done that stings and hurts, it is not a pleasant thing. It is good to remember that though we may not be acceptable in the sight of men, we who are saved have acceptance in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:6), and that is what matters most. And yet, as believers, we ought to expect, as well as demonstrate, a hospitable spirit at all times that eradicates any atmosphere of unkindness and inhospitality. We would do well to remember that an inhospitable place is not safe, and can do those who dwell there harm.
The word "hospitality" in our King James Bible comes from the Greek words, philonexiaand philoxenos. The basic meaning of this word is, "to entertain strangers, to be fond of guests, to be a lover of hospitality." One of the qualifications for the office of pastor is that he be a man who is "given to hospitality" (I Timothy 3:2), and a "lover of hospitality" (Titus 1:8). He is to be a "friend, friendly, fond of others" (philos). To be hospitable is to receive and entertain strangers with kindness and without reward. Interesting to note is that the word "hospitality" comes from the word "hospital." A hospital is a place of healing and care, a place of ministering to others for their express benefit. It is a place of nurturing and is to be a safe haven of rest and restoration. One fine old deacon once told me that a local church is really "an aid station for hurting and wounded sin-sick sinners."
The way church members treat one another will almost always be reflected in the way they treat those who visit their church. I have seen far too many instances of Christian people mistreating one another and being grossly unkind to one another. One wounded man once told me that some of the cruelest people he had ever known were professing Christians. That is certainly a sad indictment, and this from one of the finest and most godly men I have ever known. In recent years I have seen for myself "the love of many wax cold." There seems to be lack of real spiritual love that is truly Spirit-born. There is little lasting love that will sustain itself when controversy comes. More than a few church folks today tend to cast off what they called loving relationships at the first sign of strain, trouble, or adversity, and they end up hating with the same measure wherewith they said they had loved. This behavior is certainly not in keeping with being filled with, and walking in the Spirit of God. It might even be an indication that this behavior is indicative of a person not having the Spirit of God at all. When those within the household of faith do not exercise hospitality to one another, they will certainly not exercise it aright, if at all, towards them that are without.
Sheep do bite! I have been bitten by sheep, both as a church member, as a pastor, and as an evangelist. I still have the scars from "sheep-bite" to this day, and they are a constant reminder of how cruel sheep can sometimes be to one another. I know that I have bitten some of my fellow sheep in the past, and when I think of it I am grieved by my sinful insensitivity. If we are to live at peace and lie down in green pastures beside the still waters together, we must learn to be loving and kind to one another, looking out for one another, and caring for one another as the Chief Shepherd cares for us. In these last days we need to guard our hearts against a cold, unfeeling, inhospitable spirit. In these last days the love of many is growing cold. Because sin abounds even within our churches, and folks no longer hunger and thirst after righteousness with an undying love for pure doctrine, the love of many waxes cold. When God's people are not in love with the Lord Jesus Christ, they will not truly love one another. Healthy, alert sheep can sense this lack of love as soon as they enter a church building, and will know that this is not a safe sheepfold for them. They will flee to another fold that has the love of Christ reflected in it. Revival is the answer for a cold heart and an inhospitable assembly. O, God, "Wilt thou not revive us again: that thy people may rejoice in thee?" (Psalm 85:6)