“He that spareth his rod hateth his son:
but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”
Absalom is a vivid illustration held up and preserved for us in the Word of God of a doting parent’s neglect. Parents defeat their own purpose when they fail to deal sternly with their children’s disobedience and defiance and continue to overlook their sins all through their youthful years. This is often miscalled and mistaken as love. It is really a doting parent’s fleshly affection. The child of God must obey God’s commandments and establish an obedient pattern of behavior in his life, realizing that his judgments must control his affections and not the other way around. The believer cannot be led by his emotions; he must put the yearnings of the affections of his natural heart under the control of the will of God as His Word directs.
Our children should never be an excuse for not giving Him the place of honor in our lives. They are, indeed, a blessing from the Lord and we should be grateful for them. We must be careful not to allow the gift of them to us to cause us to fail to recognize the Giver of them. We must worship the Giver, not the gifts. When we fail to obey God’s clear commandments regarding discipline of our children, we mistake our doting affection for love. We allow our heart to control our judgment. The Bible teaches that we show love for our children by disciplining them, and it is a lack of real love for them when we allow them to be undisciplined. “He that spareth his rod (the rod of chastisement) hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”(quickly) (Proverbs 13:24)
This does not teach that we should love to chasten our children, instead we are to love them in such a godly way that we care that they serve the Lord. This, ultimately, is their own decision, but we are to do all that God puts before us as our duty to point them to the Lord and influence them in every way to follow Him and serve Him.
In His Amazing Grace,